


Old Songs and Memories

by Kayssna



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:32:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5392721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayssna/pseuds/Kayssna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>I love hearing old songs</em><br/>I used to love.<br/>They are like memories <br/>You can always go back to. <br/>***</p>
<p>When Vex is little she always loves the lullaby her mother sings for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Songs and Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is based entirely on the song that Laura Bailey sings in Middle Earth:Shadow of Modor. 
> 
> It's called Ioreth's song and it's so beautiful, and then I emotionally hurt myself and others around me. 
> 
> (Sorry Vaxleth)

Jordyn is almost certain she had put her children to bed a half an hour ago.

Scratch that she’s absolutely certain she had put both of her children to sleep a half an hour ago. Which doesn’t explain why there’s a little pair of brown eyes staring at her from the doorway to the one bedroom that contains the twins’ bed.

“Vex’ahila? What’re you doing up?” She asks, quietly as she sets her sewing on the table.

Vex blinks and walks forward unsteadily until she’s at her mother’s side, candle light casting shadows across the young girl’s face as Jordyn waits patiently, “Did me and Vax do something wrong?” Vex blurts out after a moment. and Jordyn’s heart stops and then shatters. She breathes a couple time through the pain and then turns to the side until she and her lovely, beautiful, strong, and uncertain daughter are face to face with each other.

"What is gave you that idea?” Jordyn asks, struggling to keep her voice steady.

“You said early, that me and Vax are leaving.” Vex says, slowly as she wrings her hands together until Jordyn catches them in her own. “If we did something wrong I promise we didn’t mean it. We want to stay…,” Is as far as Vex gets before Jordyn crushes her in a hug.

“You and Vax have done nothing wrong,” She says into her daughter’s hair. “You’ve made no mistake,”

‘ _You are perfect and wonderful and you do not deserve the pain that will follow you_ ,” Jordyn thinks desperately as she clings her daughter close to her.

“Then why are you sending us away?” Vex sobs into her shoulder.

“You are going to be so smart, and so brave, and you’re going to grow up to be like nothing the world is prepared for,” Jordyn whispers, “and you deserve more than to be stuck in this small village where you will be cast away.”

Vex stops crying, and wipes away her tears almost angrily. “We would stay,” She promises, unquestioning that any decision she made Vax would go along with it.

“I know you would,” Jordyn says, and she does. Her twins would stay and they would miss the entire world. “That is why I’m sending you away.”

Vex opens her mouth to argue and Jordyn raises a hand to silence her. “It’s getting late, little one. You will need all the rest you can get, go back to bed.”

Vex nods after a few moments and Jordyn feels her heart breaking as she walks back to the room. Vex stops after a moment and turns back, “Will you sing? That song that you used to sing for us all the time?”

Jordyn nods, mouth going dry as she stands and crosses to the twins door. She waits for a moment as Vex climbs back into bed with the, much to Jordyn’s amusement, dead to the world Vax.

“On winds and waters, may you cross,” She sings, after Vex gives her the go ahead. “May you see mountains white and blue, but on your roads let’s not forget the love I have for you,” She let’s the last note hang in the air for a moment before walking steadily towards the bed.

“I love you, my dear Vex’ahila,” She says, as she brushes a kiss across Vex’s forehead.

“I love you too,” Vex answers, as she throws her arms around Jordyn.

“Now, time to sleep. “Jordyn says as she tucks the covers around Vex.

She turns around  and walks to doorway  and going back to her sewing. ‘It’s for the best,’ She tells herself and tries to convince herself that she means it.

~

On the twins 15th birthday her father (or one of his various assistants) buys her a little necklace, and Vax a small leather journal. She takes it with all the warmth she can muster for the man who will be gone again in less than five minutes, and watches as Vax does the same.

“Thank you, father.” They say politely, and he nods back. Somehow looking completely at ease and deeply uncomfortable one at the same time. Silence reigns for a moment before one of the servants come forward and whispers something in his ear.

“Oh, really?” He asks, and with poorly disguised relief turns back towards them and starts to get up. “I’m so sorry, children, but it turns out there's an emergency and it simply can not be delayed.”

“Of course it can’t be,” Vex mutters under her breath as her brother covers it with an, “Oh, when will you be back?”

Father strides across the room and stops at the door, “I have no idea,” He answers, before he pushes through. The door closes with a resounding click behind him.

“So now the old bat’s gone can we go to the music room?” Vax asks, and Vex nods with barely restrained excitement as the both push out their chair and race each other for the music room that’s on the second floor.

“You said you figured out how to play the song on the piano?” Vax asks, when the door is closed soundly behind them.

“I think so,” Vex answers, as she sits down on the bench in front of the grand piano that lays right in the center of the room.

She waits for a moment before cracking her knuckles and begins playing.

She can’t quite remember the words but Vax seems to “On winds and waters may you cross, see mountains white and blue…,”

He stops and so does Vex her hands pausing as she struggles to find the next part.

“But on your road…” Vex sings quietly after a moment the suddenly remembered words blanketing her shoulders as warmth fills her body. “Let’s not forget the love I have for you.”

Silence reigns and Vex puts her head on his shoulder. “Let’s not forget the love I have for you.” He echoes, and it bounces in the too large room.

~

It takes a few more years of ignored or hastily left birthday’s for them to leave.

But they leave and they explore and then one day Vax looks at his sister and says, “I think it’d like to see mother,”

Vex nods as if she had already known and they set out that way.

~

They find their way home and those who remember them won’t look them in the eyes. Finally one of mother’s friends point them in the direction of their old home.

Vax doesn’t cry right then because it doesn’t seem right.

He doesn’t cry until that night. When they’ve left their charred childhood behind them.

Vex holds him tightly as they lean against Trinket’s back. Both of them drowning, and surfacing and then drowning once again. “Dance on beaches in Tal’dorei, sleep in moonlight fields of view,” Vex sobs, as they fall apart.

Vax stares at the moonlight shining down into their clearing and he thinks he’d give up the entire moon to see his mother once more.

~

Percy’s had an awful night.

He's had one of those nights when it feels like his entire family has died in front of him once again and he can’t make his hands stop shaking even as they skitter on the edge of the dining table. It’s easier to feel safe in the walls of Greystone Keep but sometimes the nightmares still catch up to him.

“You know you should probably be sleeping,” Vex says as she walks into the room. “It’s two in the morning,”

“Same could be said for you,” Percy replies, and Vex inclines her head before joining him.

“Nightmares?” She asks, and it takes all of Percy not to flinch away from her sharp and observant eyes. “Same,” She breathes into the silence.

Percy doesn’t respond and after a moment, Vex starts humming. “May you cross another Golden Age with preciousness free flowing,” She sings, and Percy finds himself relax into the gentle melody. “With halfing, elves, and dwarfs engage. Their wisdom on you bestowing,”

He has no hope of sleeping again but perhaps he can get a small shred of peace of mind.

~

Tári isn’t afraid. She’s not.

She stands on her tiptoes and stares out of the window into the storm and reminds herself that she’s brave and a little rain isn’t going to change that.

A loud clap of thunder rattles the window and Tári decides that this is no time for bravery. She bolts down the hall to her Aunt’s room, her long red hair flying behind her. She doesn’t stop at the partially ajar door and doesn’t stop until she’s caught into her aunt’s waiting arms.

“Are you alright?” She asks, and sits up in bed when Tári shakes her head on her shoulder. “Would you like a lullaby?” This time Tári nods and Aunt Vex gently moves her so that they’re both lying with their heads on pillows. Brown eyes meet brown eyes and Aunt Vex smiles before she starts singing, “On winds and waters may you cross, see mountains white and blue. But do not forget the love I have for you.” Aunt Vex stops, and for a second Tári is about to complain.

“Have I ever told you about your grandmother?” She asks.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you like this! If you did leave me a comment, and even if you didn't maybe you can tell me what you didn't like and maybe tell me about what happened.


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